Evil

Men suck.  

I vote THEY have the babies.

In the last month, Shane has lost DOUBLE the weight that I have.

How did he do it?  

Eating less and more healthy (thanks to me).

How many times did he go to the gym?  

NONE  

Me?  

Not ONLY was I eating better and less, I went to the gym 3 days a week and worked out at home the other 3 days.

DOUBLE, people, DOUBLE.

Brownies are Shane's ultimate weakness and he literally could eat an entire pan by himself if I'd let him.  

Guess what will be fresh out of the oven, warm, and waiting for him when he gets home today....?  

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA  *evil laughter*

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a.....bat?

Shane got a full season of Bill Nye the Science Guy for our kids to watch.  

I told him, begged him even, not to, but since he had never seen it as a kid, he didn't see the problem with it.

I told him that it would be SO boring and none of our kids would be interested in it for YEARS (if ever).  

He is one determined man sometimes.

Needless to say, because the universe hates me, Kaden L.O.V.E.S. it!

And not just the ones with real animals in them, but ALL of them.  The boring ones that talk about matter and energy and other boring stuff.

Kaden was watching an episode called "Mammals" and they showed live bats.  Up til this point, Kaden had never seen real bats.  This was our conversation:

(They show a shot of a bat's face-close up)

Kaden: "Look, Mom!  A pig!"

Me (laughing): "No, bud, actually that's a bat."

Kaden: "Oooooh, a bat."

(A few seconds later....they show a bat with it's wings spread out)

Kaden: "Look, Mom!  A bird!"

Me (still laughing): "No, that's a bat, too."

Kaden: confused look

(They show a shot of a bat climbing up a tree branch)

Kaden (understanding): "Oooooh!  A MONKEY!!"

Poor kid.

I felt so bad for him that I just said, "Yeah, bud, it's a monkey."  ;)

Random

I've been really busy lately with decrapifying my house, reading The Hunger Games series, and getting the house ready for some remodeling work we have in mind, so I apologize for my lack in blogging.

I have been thinking about it, though, and have a couple of random-totally-not-even-related stories to share.  :D

To start us off, I'm going back in time to December 2010.  Sooooo long ago, I know.  Shane's company (at the time) had their Christmas work party and we went to the Jazz game.  I talked about that here.  What I didn't mention, however, was a conversation that happened at the dinner before the game.

We were at a table with a bunch of "higher ups" and one happened to be Shane's manager, Cory.  Since his first day on the job, Shane has had absolutely nothing but praise for this man.  I'm not joking when I say that Shane told me Cory is hands down the nicest person he has ever met.

Thanks a lot, hon.

(Totally kidding)

Anyway, Shane would come home telling me all these amazing things Cory does and he really just seemed like a genuinely nice guy.  I was excited to meet him and he was nothing like I'd pictured.  The biggest thing was: he was SINGLE.  If this 35 year old Mormon guy is supposedly so fantastic, why on earth is he still single??  And WHY had Shane not mentioned it to me....EVER?

So, we're at dinner sitting next to Cory (who, P.S., really is SUCH a nice guy) and I see that he is the only one at the table without a spouse/girlfriend/lover beside him.  I asked where his wife or girlfriend was and that's when he told me that he's single.  I was shocked, but started joking with him that he should have let Shane know so we could fix him up for the game tonight.  Cory started laughing and tried to change the subject to someone else at the table.  (Oh, and another P.S., when we sat down I told Cory I'd heard great things about him and Shane jumped in with, "Yeah, I told her you're the nicest guy I've ever met."  Cory was really humble about it and tried to brush it off, but immediately, every. other. person. at that table joined in with "He's got that right" and "You'll never meet anyone better".  Everyone loves this guy.)

So, anyway, everyone started talking about their kids (everyone else's kids were older than ours and I tried to get some advice....the only thing I got was "it only gets harder."  Gee...thanks).  After a while, Shane noticed Cory had gone silent and was probably feeling a bit left out.  Shane made a comment to Cory...something sarcastic like "kids are so much fun to talk about, right?"  Cory laughed it off and said he didn't mind at all.  I took this moment, though, to say loud enough for everyone at the table to hear, "Oh SORRY Cory!  We didn't mean to leave you out!   We can go back to talking about getting you a date."  

ALL of the other women at the table started saying that he should have told them to fix him up and they could have.  Cory got so beet red it was HILARIOUS.  He was nervously laughing and saying he would love to talk about our kids some more.  hahahaha

I'm so awesome.

That's story #1.  The story of Cory.  (HAHA  I love rhyming!)

Shane has forbidden me from setting him up (lame), but I don't really know many single girls left anyway, so the jokes on him. 

Story #2 (if you're still with me here):

Kaden and Lexi have never really watched The Little Mermaid.  I turned it on for them once a few months back, but they couldn't care less about it so I turned it back off.  A couple of days ago, I decided to try the Disney classic again and got much better results.  They were glued to the TV.  I sat down to watch it with them (yes, seriously....I love me some Disney). 

Well, you know the opening musical number "We are the Daughters of Triton"?

I had a total freaking out mom moment.

My first of many, I'm sure.

I wasn't expecting it and I've seen this movie more times than I can count, but when I saw this:

The freak out started.

This is what I suddenly started thinking, "OH MY GOSH! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!  MY 3 YEAR OLD DOESN'T NEED TOO SEE CLEAVAGE!!"

I kept looking at Kaden to see what he was thinking, but he was happily watching.

Typical man.

Even Ariel is far from modest.  I had to sit there and continually remind myself that I grew up watching this movie and turned out okay.  I wasn't emotionally scarred from seeing cartoon cleavage and I really hope my kids won't be, either.

Then I realized,

"Holy crap.  If I can't even handle cartoon cleavage, how on earth am I going to handle it when my kids get into the real world and see much, much worse than that?"

The thought of homeschooling them and locking them forever away with me may or may not have crossed my mind.

Why do kids have to grow up?

Over it

I realized today just how used to newborns my kids are now.  When we first brought Ari home, anytime she cried Kaden went running for Shane or I saying, "Oh no!  OH NO!!  BABY ARI IS SAD!!"  like the world was over.  

This morning, though, when Ari was crying here is what happened:

Kaden: "Baby Ari is sad, Mom."

Me: "Yup.  She's hungry, bud.  She needs a bottle."

Kaden: "No, mom, she needs a pinky." 

(that's what he calls a binky since her's is pink-makes sense to me)

Me:  "No, buddy, she is really, really hungry.  Do you want to help me make her a bottle?"

Kaden:  "NO Mom!  She not hungry!  She NEEDS. HER. PINKY."

When did my three year old turn into a 15 year old who knows everything?

At least Kaden and Lexi still make sure Ari gets lots of hugs and kisses.  My sweet kids are in there somewhere.

Yup, we know how to party

Happy New Year everyone!!

We were going to go to a friend's house and have a Rook tournament, but all three kids got colds and we didn't want to share.  ;)

So, instead, we stayed home and got some YUMMY Papa Murphy's deLITE garlic chicken pizza and had a movie night. 

(On a side note, I thought since that pizza is supposed to be healthier than other pizzas that it would taste nasty healthy, but OH. MY. HECK. it was DELISH!)

We learned last year that no matter how late the kids stay up, they will still be up by 7:00 AM.  No thank you!  The kids went to bed around 9:00 (so still a little later than normal....) and we stayed up and watched a movie without any cartoon characters.  :D  We ended up going to bed around 10:30 (cause we are awesome like that), but it was still a great way to start a new year: relaxed and not sleep deprived!

Happy 2011!!